The Tonys Come But Once a Year…

Here are a few of my favorite Tony performances because as I often explain to un-theater people, this shit is my Super Bowl. I’m given one day a year to see it on TV. Let’s do this.

These are not in any particular order because I have enough trouble choosing “favorites” as is…

 

This Is Not Over Yet/The Old Red Hills of Home from Parade – 1999

Aside from being fantastic in most every way, this performance is introduced by Bea Arthur and Angela Lansbury so it’s automatically golden. Brent Carver and Carolee Carmello (who has possibly the best name in the history of ever) are perfect.  (Side note: when I finished viewing this on YouTube, the first thing to show up in my suggested videos was Glenn Close’s Tony performance from 1995. And that’s just silly, we all know there were no Tonys in 1995.)

 

City Lights from The Act – 1978

This video says it is from the 1975 Tony Awards. Go home video, you are drunk. This is from 1978. There are a couple versions on YouTube and I chose the one that is eleven minutes and thirteen seconds long because I really enjoy that it includes the opening credits, which feature the names of the presenters and nominated musicals flying at your face. BOB HOPE! GENE KELLY! DANCIN’! ON THE TWENTIETH CENTURY! Watch it, but duck first. This is followed by roughly eight and a half minutes of Liza Minnelli being the most Liza Minnelli-est she has ever been. If someone came to me and said “Help, I do not know what a Liza Minnelli is!” I would show them this video. (That will never happen, but in the event that it does, I have a plan!)  She’s all Halston red sequins, singing a Kander & Ebb song about New York (nope not that one) and the best part is, girl is ON. Check out her microphone catch at 5:29. Think you could catch a microphone if it was thrown at your face? At the Tony Awards? On live national television? Mmhmm.
I think the real highlight here is that the tape then cuts to Ed Asner presenting the award for Leading Actress in a Musical or, more specifically, singing the list of nominees. That’s right, Lou Grant is singing the list of nominees including “Frances Sternhagen” which was probably kind of difficult to sing. I love Liza’s honest reaction to her win. Seated next to her is her BFF Halston, and the guy next to him literally jumping out of his seat is Steve Rubell, owner of Studio 54.

 

The Revolutionary Costume for Today from Grey Gardens – 2007

…Nailed it.
Christine Ebersole was flawless in this role, as evidenced by this performance. What you don’t see here is how perfect she was as the elder Edith in the show’s first act. You can witness that brilliance if you click here.

 

There You Are/Don’t Quit While You’re Ahead from The Mystery of Edwin Drood – 1986

This performance is also introduced by Bea Arthur! The combined greatness of Cleo Laine and Betty Buckley (who shockingly gets no entrance applause… wake up, audience?) more than makes up for the crappy video quality. This is good old-fashioned musical theater at its best, complete with a kick line.

 

A New Argentina from Evita – 1980

I could write a whole post solely about this performance. That said, I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but I make no promises. You’ve reached the Patti LuPone portion of this list… consider yourself warned. This is basically perfect and the fact that Bob Gunton rivals Eartha Kitt with his rolled “R”s is just icing on the cake. And that cake’s already pretty iced because, hi, Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin are singing and newsflash, they are not kidding around. Patti’s Eva starts off as sass personified and doesn’t miss a beat the rest of the way through. I’m obsessed with the Look-with-a-capital-L she gives Peron starting at about 3:55, then at 4:05 she turns around like “bitch please.” Eva Peron doesn’t have time for your pensive bullshit, Juan. She’s got an Argentina to run and you’re in the way. (You’re also wearing really, really pink pajamas, like a lady.)
As for the rumors about portions of Patti’s vocals being prerecorded, who the hell cares? It’s not like she COULDN’T sing it, she DID sing it and wouldn’t you want your high Z flat prerecorded for national television, too? Girl is belting her face off. Deal.

 

Anything Goes – 1988

Here’s Patti continuing to meet her sass quotient, now with bonus tap dancing, as Reno Sweeney. This performance only furthers my theory that every Anything Goes ship looks exactly the same but that’s fine because this shit is classic.

 

Everything’s Coming Up Roses from Gypsy – 2008

Remember how I said if someone didn’t know what a Liza Minnelli was, I’d show them that video of City Lights? If someone didn’t know what a Patti LuPone was, I would show them this. The best thing about this performance, besides all of it, is the fact that she just opens her mouth and lets go. It’s raw, emotional, and perfect.

 

Sunday from Sunday in the Park with George – 1984

I triple-dog-dare you to sit through this without starting to cry.  Go on.  Try it.

So there you go, a few of my favorite Tony performances. Maybe if I get really ambitious tomorrow, I’ll post a few of my un-favorites…

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by Cara Marie on June 8, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Theatre

Posted by Cara Marie on June 8, 2013

http://pocketdiva.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/the-tonys-come-but-once-a-year/

She’s Baaaack

Long time, no blog.  I have no real excuse for my absence except that my work schedule changed and Smash literally became so vapidly ridiculous that my brain couldn’t find the brain space to write about it anymore. And that no longer matters because……………. Smush has officially been canceled. Was it the untimely death of Kyle that sealed the deal? Is it bad that the only reason I remembered Kyle’s name is because he died? Last night’s episode was a doozy, by the way. Shit got real in a pretty real way but I guess it doesn’t matter very much because the show only has one or two episodes left and then it’s curtains…!  (I’ve always wanted to say that.)

Step aside, Smash, PATTI LUPONE IS GOING TO BE ON AMERICAN HORROR STORY.  SHOULD I WRITE RECAPS FOR THAT WHEN IT AIRS?!?! Here’s what we know about the third season so far: it is titled Coven so therefore it is about witches, it features Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates, and PATTI LUPONE WILL BE ON IT. WITCH PATTI. MUSICAL WITCH PATTI?!?!?! Listen, Jessica Lange sang The Name Game last season, just saying. It could happen. I’m way more excited about this than when she was on Army Wives for a hot second, hence the caps lock. This could go many different ways. Maybe she will be Jessica Lange’s crazy witch sister. Maybe she and Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates will all be sisters and I can pretend this is a remake of Hocus Pocus. Wait, that works–Patti can be Winifred, Jessica is Sarah, Kathy is Mary. AHS: Sanderson Sisters. Don’t say I never gave you anything, Ryan Murphy.

Speaking of creepy television shows, I was kind of peer-pressured into watching Bates Motel.  Gotta pick up another show to fill the Smash void, right? Sure, those shows are totally interchangeable!  (Jokes.)  I’ve actually been wanting to start Bates Motel for a while but A&E only seems to show the same four episodes over and over and none of them are the first one, so I bit the bullet and watched the first two on Amazon Instant (a service I did not know existed until about three hours ago). Guess I have to make room for another crazy lady named Norma in my life!

Yesterday I saw a production of Xanadu followed by a late showing of The Great Gatsby.  Holy pop culture overload, Batman!  I was admittedly not that familiar with Xanadu the show (I am, sadly, admittedly familiar with Xanadu the movie).  Jukebox musicals tend to be a major turn-off for me, but this is a jukebox musical that acknowledges and makes fun of the fact that it’s a jukebox musical.  It’s one of those shows that’s written for theater people–not that non-theater people can’t enjoy it, it’s just…wired a little differently.  We theater people do love our in-jokes and Xanadu has a ton.

But I’m really not done talking about Patti on American Horror Story!  My brain hasn’t fully processed the idea of this yet… and there are so many possibilities. AHS isn’t a show I ever imagined seeing Patti on, which makes me really excited about it. She’s never done anything like this before! I hope she plays the queen witch or the head witch or OMG the Grand High Witch just like Anjelica Huston in The Witches. Except maybe without the scary facemask thing. I think I’m the only person I know who wasn’t totally traumatized by that movie as a child. Scared of her? No way, I just wanted to be her.

And I’m just assuming Patti will be a witch on AHS, I really have no idea. I have no insider LuWitch information. Watch her end up being the nosy neighbor a’la Gladys Kravitz or something.

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by Cara Marie on May 12, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Cara Marie on May 12, 2013

http://pocketdiva.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/shes-baaaack/

SmashCap 2.7: Buh-Bye Now

It’s been two weeks since my last SmashCap. I didn’t write anything about the last couple episodes because I truly had nothing to say about them and I had more stuff to say about other stuff. So, miss me? (You can say no.) Lucky for all of us, the Smash Fairy’s visit last night left me feeling inspired… and extra evil!

So when last we left our merry band of musical theater misfits, Bombshell was put into the seemingly capable hands of one Mr. Tom Levitt, a character we all agree should have his own spin-off series. “Tom & Ivy & Eileen”–how’s that for a new show? Perhaps to go into the now-vacant Tuesday 10pm/9c slot? Be real. The show in trouble here isn’t Bombshell, Hit List, or (buh-bye now) Liaisons. It’s Smash. And this is it, kids, so let’s all appreciate what we’ve got while we’ve got it. Anyway, because well enough can’t be left alone and in Smush world there really is no “well enough,” of course, of course Tom’s directing is a disaster. Why would he not be? He’s intelligent, he’s creative, he’s been pretty much right on with every other thing he has contributed to Bombshell. He should not be turning this into a trainwreck, yet…here we are, The National Pastime now features actual hot dogs, actual Cracker Jack boxes, and holy shit are they tapping?!  Listen, I love a tap number just as much or probably slightly a lot more than the next guy (I cried during 42nd Street… don’t ask), but Tom. Thomas Levitt. What are you doing with your life.  To make matters worse, he is also clashing with Karen, going so far as to give her a line reading (gasp! shock! outrage!) and she’s all “Derek wanted it this way” and he’s literally like “Derek’s not here anymore” in a way that might lead you to believe Derek is no longer of this earth… except we know he’s just over at Hit List being his usual whiny self. BOO!

Speaking of Hit List, nothing over there seems to be going according to plan either. Huh! Jerk New Guy is still holding a grudge against Karen for doing Bombshell (which she was committed to first, but whatever) and I think we would all enjoy him and ourselves more if he could just get his existence together and make up his mind about whether he is nice, mean, happy, or angry. Other New Guy has a stunning range of about one emotion so that makes them a nicely balanced cute couple. Jerk New Guy has decided to be nice tonight and wants to take Karen out for a drink, but Derek tells him in a super-creepy way to keep his distance. He sends New Guys home with “notes” and takes Karen out himself. Yikes.

Tom realizes that making things awkward with Karen will not bode well for anyone and because he is Tom and he is a nice guy, he offers to patch things up with her by taking her as his date to the Liaisons opening. Now, to that I would have responded, “Tom I totes want to hang out with you but can we maybe grab a burger instead because Liaisons, no way” but, to quote Sophia Petrillo, I digress. In possibly the first demonstrated use of her brain, Karen’s response is “Won’t that upset Ivy?” Not just a hat rack, folks! No, Tom assures her, Ivy will be fine. Now, Tom, you are saying that under the assumption that everyone involved here is an adult. Remember where you are and who you are dealing with.

There are about three people at the Liaisons opening and they are Tom, Karen, and Derek. Okay, and Jerry and New Guys (Jerk and Other). So six. There are six people at the Liaisons opening. PS, the Liaisons preview was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. Like, the two people in the audience were texting and applying their lip gloss. Yet, here we are, opening night. We’re “treated” to a number that reminded me oddly of Otto Titsling from Beaches which is perhaps neither here nor there, and then… Terry Falls. Literally. Off a swing. Terry Falls falls off a swing. COME ON.

Afterward, Tom and Karen visit Ivy at the stage door. More accurately, Tom visits Ivy and makes an Irene Dunne reference while Karen looks on in awe and confusion. Watch some TCM, Karen Cartwright. When they leave, it takes about three seconds for her to tell Tom that she knows she’s not his Marilyn, Ivy is. She’s quitting…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the world gives a collective sigh of relief, but promptly shakes its head again because now we’ll just have to hear more of Hit List. Thanks for nothing, Karen Cartwright.

I can’t believe I’ve written over 700 words and nary a mention of Grace Adloaf. This week Grace Adloaf and Eileen are trying to outsmart Jerry and get Bombshell back for Eileen, since Jerry ruins everything. Turns out Eileen got some exclusive rights from Marilyn’s estate (mmhmm) and without her consent they can’t be used in the show. Evil Jerry does not care about this, of course, but their daughter Katie (Grace Gummer, daughter of Meryl Streep…Gummer) wins him over and he signs everything back over to Eileen. Even though it was supposed to be illegal for her to be involved somehow…right? Oh well, who cares. Karen’s out, Eileen’s back in, everything’s coming up roses. Extra coming up roses because now Liaisons is officially closing, and Ivy is free. How convenient! I have to admit I was a little bummed when Ivy strode out of the theater all confident and happy and free of her Liaisons burden and…didn’t break into joyous song. Instead she just kind of looked at the Bank of America across the street and went on her way. Another day, Ivy.

Karen is now back in Hit List, where the set involves what appear to be two large flat-screen TVs moving around behind the actors. O…kay. She performs a duet with Jerk New Guy that sounds the same as all the other songs from Shit List (OOPS look what happened on accident) except she adds her own special vacant flair to it… in the absence of J.Hud, somebody’s gotta keep up the “dead face” quota. Have I talked about dead face before? Can I talk about it now? “Dead face” is a thing I made up that happens when someone is allegedly performing a song–as in, their mouth is open and emitting sound, but their face has no expression to prove it. Dead face. It’s the new fetch. I will stop trying to make it happen, but that doesn’t mean it will go away. New character Ana, who took the lead in the place of the formerly late Karen Cartwright, is dismayed to learn she has been relegated to the role of the sister. “Oh great, the sister. ………Again.” Yes, Ana, that is how we all feel. We’re all sorry you have to be Karen’s roommate, too. Good luck with that.

Liza Minnelli’s episode airs April 6th. Start planning your Saturday night accordingly now.

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by Cara Marie on March 20, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Entertainment, Television, Theatre
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Posted by Cara Marie on March 20, 2013

http://pocketdiva.wordpress.com/2013/03/20/smashcap-2-7-buh-bye-now/

Today We Are a Ma’am

Okay, okay, I may have gone a little overboard on Hulu Plus the past few days. My queue is all Rhoda, Rhoda, Rhoda, Rhoda, Rhoda, one episode of Parenthood my mom watched, Rhoda, Rhoda, The Mary Tyler Moore Show… so I’ll just come out with it: I jumped on the Valerie Harper appreciation bandwagon, and I’m not planning on ever getting back off.

As a kid, I loved almost everything on Nick At Nite. They used to do this thing called Block Party Summer, where each weeknight was devoted to one show. They’d do Mary Mondays, Lucy Tuesdays, Bewitched Be-Wednesdays (yep), Jeannie Thursdays and–get ready for this pun action–Sgt. Joe Fridays. My dad was pretty partial to Sgt. Joe Fridays. Lucy Tuesday was my main jam, and like any normal child, I never could make up my mind about whether I wanted to be Jeannie or Samantha. Jeannie had a cute outfit, awesome hair and a kick-ass bottle. Samantha turned into a cat in her opening credits and her mom was the fabulous Endora. Decisions! Then there was Mary Monday. Who was this mythical Mary and why did she get a Monday… I watched because, well, it was on, and I quickly developed a weird obsession with the show. Weird because I was 8 or 9, and what 8 or 9 year-old is super into The Mary Tyler Moore Show?  I realize now, as I’m rewatching, I didn’t understand a lot of the jokes. I just loved the characters. All of them, even Ted Baxter. I loved that Mary worked in a newsroom at a television station and I loved her little apartment with its weird sunken living room and funny little kitchen nook. I loved to sing the theme song. All the time. And I thought her best friend, Rhoda, was the coolest person to ever cool.

Rhoda was awesome because she was a window dresser and went to art school. Rhoda wore funky, fun ’70s clothes. Mary was always put together and perfect but sometimes Rhoda came over in her pajamas. And Rhoda was funny. Then, I didn’t get exactly why Rhoda was so funny–her line of humor was different than Mary’s, different than Lucy or Jeannie or Samantha or any of the other classic TV ladies my little brain could comprehend. I felt like I could grow up to be a Mary or a Rhoda. They were independent ladies with successful, cool-sounding careers. They were more down to earth than Lucy, and didn’t have magical powers like Jeannie or Samantha. And I knew I wanted to be a Rhoda.

Now that I am watching these episodes again, I see why I connected with Rhoda. I identified with her sense of humor, even though then I didn’t realize that Rhoda was constantly making jokes at her own expense. She’s self-deprecating, especially when she is comparing herself to Mary. I know that I do that, too, I make the same kind of remarks about myself that Rhoda makes about herself… and that’s my line of humor. And in some ways, my defense mechanism. Self-esteem has been a struggle for me for…well, most of my life. I have only recently begun to grasp who I am, now that I am almost 27 years old. I am finally learning that it’s okay to be me. So I feel like I have grown up a little bit like Rhoda… and I think she is probably the best female role model I could have had on TV, at age 9 or age 27.

When Valerie Harper went public with her terminal brain cancer diagnosis last week, to quote my friend Emily, “That was our OMG moment.” Emily and I share a love of old movies and old TV shows, and the actors and actresses who played the characters we grew up watching on TVLand and Nick at Nite. We have lost some of our favorites already–Dixie Carter, Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty–but Valerie Harper was a total surprise to us, and then Emily brought up the fact that… we’re a little bit lucky, in a way. We’ve learned of Valerie’s diagnosis, and now we know that we have more time, while she is alive, to rediscover all the things we loved when we were younger.

Usually, that only happens when a celebrity dies unexpectedly–that’s your “OMG moment” and then you go, I have to go watch ten hours of Golden Girls episodes or something just to… remember the joy that Bea or Rue or Estelle brought to you, years ago. So that explains my overboard Rhoda/MTM phase right now–I’m rewatching, I’m understanding these jokes and how this show must have been so groundbreaking in its time. I am learning more about myself watching MTM and Rhoda and mostly… I’m realizing, for the first time, how talented one Miss Valerie Harper really is. The best part of that is that I don’t have to say “how talented she was.” She still is, because she is still with us, and I am so proud to call myself her fan.

I hope that anyone reading this has also found themselves completely bowled over by the strength, courage, and resilience displayed by this incredible woman during the past week. She is truly inspiring, and I hope that she knows just how much we all appreciate her honesty, bravery, and candor in People Magazine, on The Today Show, and in the video she made for her fans.

I do not know you personally, Ms. Harper, but thank you very much for sharing with us and the world: your positivity, your humor, and your uplifting spirit in the face of this devastating diagnosis. I think you are wonderful, and I wish I had gone to see you in Looped on Broadway when I had the chance… But I will not regret that, because right now I’m watching Rhoda. And it’s the best part of my day.

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by Cara Marie on March 14, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Cara Marie on March 14, 2013

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Sophie Tucker For President

I’ll admit that I know very little about Sophie Tucker.  I know who she is, meaning I can recognize her by sight and I know she was a singer in the 1920s-1960s and Bette Midler tells Soph jokes and she’s mentioned in the song “Roxie.”

Yesterday, my friend Josh and I were in search of a copy of Woody Allen’s Bullets Over Broadway, since neither of us had seen the movie before and I was told on good authority this needed to be remedied immediately. Having no luck on Netflix or Amazon’s instant service and fairly certain neither one of us still had a valid membership at a video rental store (right?!), we journeyed to our favorite used book/movie/music place.  It can be a great resource if you know what you’re looking for, but overall it’s not very organized and is really just a bunch of old things thrown in piles. I’m sure they have some sort of inventory or organization system…somewhere.

I was bee-lining toward the DVDs when Josh was all “Hey look at this record!”  It was The Spice of Life, by Sophie Tucker.  We’re mildly obsessed with the Sophie Tucker line from “Roxie,” or more accurately, with Christine Pedi’s impression of Elaine Stritch delivering that line. There was some scribbling on the album cover and that’s not uncommon with records at this place–you know, Bobby or Susie or Esmeralda needed to write their name on that Barry Manilow or Pat Benatar or Peter Frampton album just in case it was stolen from them and needed to be returned to its rightful owner. Or that’s what I presume, anyway. But there was something different about this series of scribbles. “To Rhoda, Love Sophie Tucker 11/28/64″ didn’t seem to me like a Rhoda scribble. It was a Sophie Tucker scribble. Sophie Tucker signed that record, and it was in the bin with the Easy Listening albums, and had a .60 price tag stuck on top of it.

Josh paid for Sophie (and the LP of the soundtrack to the terrible terrible Liza Minnelli film Lucky Lady for me, because I wasn’t sure if I already had a copy… I should really inventory my collection sometime) and she has been rescued from the used record store and now resides on his dresser.  I have petitioned for shared custody, so when he flies the coop to spend the summer in NYC, Soph can live on my dresser.  I did some research to make sure it’s not a fake, though really, why would anyone fake a Sophie Tucker autograph.

I don’t expect most people my age to know who Sophie Tucker was. I’m sure my mother doesn’t even know who Sophie Tucker was, though she did take me to see Bette Midler in concert (and if being 13 years old and sitting next to your mom trying not to let on that you understand Bette’s Soph jokes and the reasons they are funny is not one of the most awkward things ever, I don’t know what is).  So I’m not surprised that none of the employees at the used record store batted an eye when they took in this record. They probably thought some crazy lady wrote on it. They slapped a sixty-cent price tag in the top right corner, threw it in the bin with the other old people music and went about their day.

But who was Rhoda? What happened to her?  Obviously she cared enough to have that record signed, so she must have adored Sophie Tucker. It probably meant a lot to her. How did it end up in the sad used record store?

I came home and looked around my room. My collection isn’t huge, but it’s sizable enough to constitute at least a small museum exhibit. To me, it’s all priceless. Everything has a story I wouldn’t trade for the world. With a couple exceptions, these aren’t items bought on eBay, they’re a result of me being (purposefully) in the right place at the right time outside a stage door.  Each one represents a show, a performance, a night I’ll never forget or be able to replicate.  I’ve jokingly asked friends to take care of my memorabilia if anything ever happens to me. Once I was in an antique store where there was an overwhelming amount of Doris Day stuff–magazines, photos, records, you name it–and I was like, oh my God, a Doris Day fan has passed away and this is where their collection ended up. One day in a million years, will someone be browsing an antique store and see all my things haphazardly thrown together with sad little $1 price stickers on them? Will they pick up my signed Evita program and wonder “Who was Cara Marie? Why did Patti LuPone sign this to her in pink marker?” Or worse… “Who the hell is Patti LuPone?” 

So, Rhoda, wherever you are (and I suspect you are no longer of this earth), I want you to know that your Sophie Tucker album has found a good home.  The best possible home, in fact.

And click here to listen to “Sophie Tucker For President.”  It will change your life.

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by Cara Marie on March 3, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Cara Marie on March 3, 2013

http://pocketdiva.wordpress.com/2013/03/03/sophie-tucker-for-president/

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